it's amazing how sadness feeds sadness, how misery leads to more misery and how suddenly a tiny thing can bring on a massive depression! that's what happened this week. went out on monday night and felt really isolated from people as though i couldn't relate to anyone and had nothing to say. felt invisible. and the feeling just persisted. i guess i was wallowing in my misery and almost enjoying it even...a desperate plea for attention? perhaps! it's stupid i know but somehow once you've got yourself depressed it feels comfortable to stay that way instead of making an effort to starting smiling again. but now today finally i've realised that it's stupid to surround myself with sadness for no real reason. i've got to snap out of this vicious circle and start smiling cos i don't really have all that much to be depressed about! i guess the stress levels are making even the smallest things seem really important...way more important than they should. yesterday's game of cricket really helped, it served as a breaking point probably...standing there freezing my arse off and attempting to play a game the rules of which i don;t even know!! it was 'good stuff' (quoting giulio) and highly amusing. so now i'll try to stop moping around and stop feeling invisible and hopefully that will make me feel happy again!